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Suddenly, the kitchen door burst open. In a fury, Ruth stormed towards the liquor cabinet which had but two bottles of liquor - an unopened Jim Beam and a half-empty vodka. Fisting each in her hot hands, she hurtled through the toys on the floor and disrupted the chairs on the way to the sink. "Enough! Enough!" she whispered through clenched teeth. She tilted the bottles upside down and shook the drink out violently in desperate hopes to empty it faster. The rancid smell of alcohol stung her eyes and nose, but she did not stop until every drop had been wasted.

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Seasons have always had a profound impact on Joy; summer brought indescribeable relief from a long semester's worth of studying and exams, fall brought anxiety about inevitable change and involuntary forward action, winter brought self-satisfied depression, and finally spring...spring brought a slow and steady awakening from the crippling depression of the winter.

It happened to be summer, August to be exact. Joy stumbled home around 1 a.m. after quite a few drinks at the local pub, which was in walking distance. Her hair was disheveled, her make up worn off, and the front of her shirt was soaked. The man she had been talking to all night accidentally spilled his drink on her, and she was now fumbling to unclasp her bra after having ripped off all her clothes. Come...on...bra! You can do it! she muttered as the clasp finally gave. She threw herself on the bed with her face in the pillow, not even bothering to clear the clutter of papers, cds, and clothes. At the point of drifting into a drunken slumber, the phone clasped in her hand tinkled with a text message; she opened her eyes half way then closed them again. A second alert tinkled. She opened the phone and slowly brought it to her face. The words were blurry but she managed to read both messages, which was the same message sent twice: Easy got busted DWI they took him 2 jail.

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This is a story about a girl named Joy who falls in love with the man of her dreams. She is a medical student with aspirations to deliver medical care to third world countries. After a romantic wedding proposal, the couple begin to have irreconcilable differences mainly involving a past lover on his end. When Joy finally realizes that the man would not give his whole heart to her, she decides to finish her schooling at a different location. Upon graduating, she leaves the country and begins her work as a medical doctor in an unreached part of Africa. She befriends a female nurse who later gets killed by natives. For her safety, Joy is moved back to the United States for a time of furlough. She decides to contact her ex-fiance, whom she discovers has married his past lover. Heartbroken once more, she requests to end her furlough early and return to Africa. She is then raped by natives and contracts AIDS. She spends her remaining time back home in the hospital, where her ex-fiance visits her frequently as he has always loved her.

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There comes a time in every person's life when they experience an epiphany. It doesn't necessarily happen at the lowest point in their lives; neither does it happen at the highest. In my case, it happened on a day after I had been making some very bad decisions and was waiting for the consequences to kick me in the stomach. There wasn't anything I could do to fix the situation; there were no words I could say to reason out of my pickle. I waited dumbly unlike any instictive, smart animal or person would. Slowly but surely, I heard a creaking in my brain as the wheels began to move for the first time ever. All this while I believed I was smarter than everyone I knew, smarter than the average person. I scoffed at my friends for the life-decisions they made, I disapproved and ridiculed everyone's opinion under my breath. I insisted on being right the first time, there was no lesson for me to learn, no new knowledge to be gained, I always knew what was best, I had control over my life because I was intelligent, interesting, and good-looking. Even my shortcomings were a distinguishing addage to my already remarkable character. I was rare, one-of-a-kind, classy, and marvelous. With the onset of the creaking, I felt the thuds of dreams dashing within me. Fairy tale dreams of doing the world a favor by existing. I began to realize the person I really was. Not through my own will...no, through the tears I milked out of a handful of the most important people in my life. There was a reason why I pleased no one but my own smug self with the actions I took to satisfy my immediate needs. How did I even make it this far in life being as selfish as I was? The mountain of pride I had sat upon distanced me from reality, and in the process of building it I hurt and distanced myself from the very people who loved and cherished me. Like a puffed up balloon deflating, I came to terms with these realizations...I carefully turned over each leaf as I pondered on my shortcomings to shamefully face the absolute truth of who I was - the biggest fool to walk the earth. I break, I crumble, I want to become powder. I want to become humble. I want to put myself at the bottom because you don't fall at the bottom! You gratefully learn and accept and happily move along. My epiphany came at the most inopportune time because I learned too late. But the fact is, I learned. I grasp the vial of truth in my hands - I am better than no one, I can learn something from everyone. A potion for a fulfilling life is now in my possession and what a journey it was to find it!

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You don't realize what a horrible person you are until you find yourself in an exchange of vicious verbal attacks with someone you claim to love. There was a hideous beast within me that I didn't mind unleashing to get my point across, no matter how petty the point was. In hindsight, those "debates" were actually intellectual and a significant marker for the kinds of people we both are today. However, at that time they were nothing more than a battle of wits, to see who was smarter than who. Trees have bark to protect themselves; animals, claws and teeth. Humans, however, have the tongue - the most dangerous tool ever known. With it, you can tear down anyone who is even the slightest insecure about anything. That insecurity, once discovered, dies a grisly death by the sharp and poisonous daggers that shoot out from the tongue.

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Whenever my husband prays aloud for us, I'm overwhelmed with a sense of comfort and love for both him and the ever wise and humorous God who paired us up. It seems that my husband and I beat all odds to be together, but at the same time some force was holding us together like magnets. I think that is what love is...to be in awe of the Lord who so creatively brought together an unlikely pair, and to behold that partner with sheer amazement and satisfaction, as if the stars couldn't have been placed in a more appropriate place. When my husband and I first met, it was at a Starbucks coffee on a chilly January afternoon when the air felt still with anticipation for change. The month before, I had created a MySpace account out of curiosity and boredom. I 'browsed' through the 'friends' in my vicinity according to my zip code. I had no serious interest in anyone's profile until I came across Daniel's. The display name said Danish, and underneath was a profile picture of what resembled none other than a rock star - taken at an upward angle, stage lights illuminating the background, holding a fancy guitar with his face contorted as if he were singing his heart out. I immediately clicked to view his pictures. He was handsome and rough-looking and I was strangely drawn to him. I sent him a message that read, "Hmm...Danish. Your name reminds me of breakfast." As was customary with MySpace networking, he replied with some explanation of his name and that we should chat sometime and he left me his AIM screen name.

I had never done anything as daring as meeting my husband for the first time. It was nerve-racking, electric. Like realizing you could fly but were too afraid to. I still can't say what it was that provoked me to meet with a stranger from the internet. It had to be providence; an unconventional match-making occurrence which was a result of God's hand jerking across the universe because He hit his funny bone. I wonder if I would have met Daniel in any other circumstance, or if I would have married someone else had I not felt curious enough to create a MySpace. Aside from the what-ifs, the ongoings of that year were a blur. The relationship progressed like the onset of a hurricane - quickly and dangerously. Pubescent remnants were escaping in spurts as our relationship began to grow into one of substance, with questions being asked of life, love, and God. At 19 years of age, I was only a fundamental Christian with faith as strong as how I felt about injustice and conflict - pretty strong, yet I wasn't going to take action to make any significant changes. One day, as we were discussing the theory of evolution, Daniel smugly stated, "The Bible says God created the animals and humans, but I believe he may have allowed other things to happen, such as evolution, and we would be foolish to limit God to the Bible; He's bigger than that." I was morbidly appalled. As a firm believer in the Bible, almost to a literal sense, I couldn't believe the audacity he had to challenge the truth and to be such an open receptacle like all the other silly college kids who claim to be 'open-minded.' I wanted to prove him otherwise, and that was the cascading effect to a multitude of fiery, passionate fights about what seemed like irreconcilable differences.

You don't realize what a horrible person you are until you find yourself in an exchange of vicious verbal attacks with someone you claim to love. There was a hideous beast within me that I didn't mind unleashing to get my point across, no matter how petty the point was.